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Shark Humor

Late Night Skinny Dipping
This fellow has owned a home on a large bayfront property in Marathon for several years. He built a nice beach set up with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and a beach volleyball court. The beach was perfect for swimming. One evening on his way down to his beach, as he neared the water, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he got closer, by the full moonlight, he saw a group of young women skinny dipping. He whistled to make the women aware of his presence and they all went out to deeper water. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”The old man replied, “That’s OK, I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies skinny dipping, I just came to feed my sharks!”

Shark Cages

The Atheist and the Shark
A diver surfaced on Molasses Reef, off Key Largo and is swimming back to his boat when he sees a shark behind him in the water. He starts swimming faster but when he looks back he sees the shark turn and heads towards him. He’s scared to death, and screams out “Oh God! Save me!”Suddenly time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The voice of God says, “Aren’t you an atheist? Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?”

Knowing he can’t lie the man replies, “Well, that’s true I don’t believe in you. But can you make the shark believe in you?” The Lord replies, “As you wish.” The light retracts back into the heavens and the atheist looks back to see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him when, all of sudden, the shark stops and pulls back.

Shocked, the man believes he has been saved as the huge beast closes its eyes and bows its head and says, “Thank you Lord for this food for which I am about to receive…”

Shark Attack Painting

Why don’t Sharks eat Clowns? Because they taste Funny.

Trolling for Shark
The visiting preacher was on a morning walk on Long Key Bridge when he spots two locals dragging a heavy rope off the bridge. He looks over the rail and sees a man on the other end of the rope waving his arms and yelling. The preacher praises the locals saying how he admires anyone taking time to help a brother in need.

As the preacher walks on one local says to the other, “He sure don’t know nothing about shark fishin.”

Shark Fishing

Shark! Just the word itself invokes fear and dread. But what is it that causes these vicious man-eaters to attack? This question and many more are answered in the incredible survival story, ANATOMY OF A SHARK BITE. On April 9, 2002, celebrated behavioral scientist Dr. Erich Ritter was severely bitten by a 350-lb bull shark. Through an astonishing combination of computer-generated imaging, state-of-the-art robotics and shocking footage of the incident – the only shark attack on a human being ever caught on film – Dr. Ritter recreates his terrifying ordeal, in this unbelievable-but-true shark’s tale.
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