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Dive Jokes

Keys Diving | Keys Humor | Fishing Humor | Shark Humor | Dive Humor | April Fools Humor

SSI vs NAUI vs PADI

There were three instructors and their students on board a dive boat heading out for their first dive of the day. One is a NAUI instructor, one a PADI instructor and the other an SSI instructor.

They pass over the reef line off Islamorada and head north. Everything is going fine until the boat hits a submerged log, springs a leak and starts to sink.

The SSI instructor says to his students, "Okay, we're in pretty deep water so we might as well do our deep dive."

The NAUI instructor says to his students, "Okay, we might as well do our navigation dive, so let's get our compasses out and swim towards the Alligator Reef Lighthouse."

The PADI instructor says to his students, "Okay, for an $25 extra you guys get to do a wreck dive!"


Why going diving with your buddy?

My SCUBA instructor always stressed that you should never go diving alone.

If you have equipment problems, your buddy can help you.

If you run out of air, your buddy can help you.

If you meet an aggressive shark, your odds are 50-50 instead of 100%.

Is that a shark???

Two divers were checking a new reef when they saw a shark. The shark circled them, menacingly. One diver took off his fins and reached inside his BC and pulled out a pair of super- power fins.

His buddy signaled: What? You can't out swim a shark! The diver signaled back: I don't have to out swim the shark - I only have to out swim you!


More Shark Jokes

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Shark!
Just the word itself invokes fear and dread. But what is it that causes these vicious man-eaters to attack? This question and many more are answered in the incredible survival story, ANATOMY OF A SHARK BITE.

On April 9, 2002, celebrated behavioral scientist Dr. Erich Ritter was severely bitten by a 350-lb bull shark. Through an astonishing combination of computer-generated imaging, state-of-the-art robotics and shocking footage of the incident - the only shark attack on a human being ever caught on film - Dr. Ritter recreates his terrifying ordeal, in this unbelievable-but-true shark's tale.

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07/13/06